Get this RL $hit.

[Raistlin]

I was at work with a new guy. He was doing things wrong so I corrected him. He gets pissed and tells me not to correct him in front of others. I'm being professional and just telling him what was wrong. He won't listen. He's all irate and I try to calm him down. He has his back turned to me and ignoring me. When I finally try to get his attention to ask him to relax I had to place my hand on his shoulder. I didn't grip him, move him, or even use a loud voice when I told him to relax. He accuses me of assault.

So they call me into the office to talk about it. They listen to both of us separately. I have a union so a representative was there to support me. They decide to suspend me for 2 days. My union rep says there is nothing that I did that was out of my duties and there should be no reason to punish me. The manager says he doesn't care. So now I get in trouble because some new guy wants to be a little bitch and cry when he's told he's wrong.

To top it off they aren't even doing anything to him. He was calling me names, racial slurs even, and threatened me. They don't do anything to him? They want to say that my contact with him can't be ignored, but his actions can? Man I'm pissed.

Let's make a list of all the things I should do to this guy and find the most appropriate way to exact my revenge.

[AntonyJC]

arsenic. end of story

[Raistlin]

Not torturing enough.

[Caden]

tie him up and pluck out every single leg hair.

[Raistlin]

Now we're on the torture train. More though. He has to suffer.

[Chaos Creator]

That's ed up, man. What a bunch of beuracratic bull.

You should hang him upside down, with his arms tied to the sides, smear some easy cheez on his nose, and place him in a location with either fire ants, or very large rats.

[AntonyJC]

or make him drink his own piss and eat his . i think thats enough =)

[Caden]

that is vile. i cant believe you even thought that

[AntonyJC]

i am the most vile being on the face of this earth if you want torture just ask me

[Chaos Creator]

I'm decent with torture, but my specialty is agonizing death.

[Raistlin]

I've got some twisted torture ideas, but I wanted to make this a group effort. What you suggested wasn't all that torturing. If it was make him eat his , then drink his piss, then when he thows up from the piss he'll eat that next. Just for starters. I'm looking for more of an extensive pain inducing torture though. Like CC, he was more on my point of it.

[Chaos Creator]

I always thought that staking someone over a patch of bamboo would be pretty good. Bamboo grows 4-6 inches a day, and would effectively grow through the person slowly enough to prolong the agony, but fast enough to definately cause the agony in the first place.

[Mind Flayer]

Kidnap him, tie him down to a table and leave him there. Make sure to get plenty of liquid antibiotics, bandages, and other medical supplies.

Blindfold him. Force earplugs into his ears.

Get a thin wire and take the time to wire off one of his fingers each week. Before this, place a piece of glass in his mouth and duct tape over it. When he screams and bites down from the pain...you know what happens. After the finger is removed, make sure to bandage it up. Tear off the duct tape, remove the glass, force apple cider vinegar into his cut up mouth.

Get pliers. Force his mouth open using deep sea fishing hooks and line connected to the table. Run the hooks into his jaw, not just the lip. Take each tooth with the pliers, squeeze until it cracks or shatters, and remove the remaining tooth by scraping it out with sand paper.

Collect those fingers and toes that you'll have wired off and leave them under a heat lamp to rot. Collect them into a blender and blend lightly on low power. Be sure not to liquefy. Include any bits of teeth you're able to recover. Force feed him the contents of the blender.

Apply all medical supplies accordingly to prevent infection and disease.

Collect all defecation and urine and mix it into a paste. Apply it beneath the blindfold and secure it tightly. Take up your pliers again and begin taking time to tear out each and every hair on your victim's body. Stuff the hair into his mouth and light it on fire. Be ready to put it out before it burns him too severely. This allows him to still taste things that you'll be feeding him.

Often, take the time to eat amazingly scrumptious meals around him so he will smell it. Turn on any television stations that may be broadcasting a report about him missing and take out the ear plugs so he can hear it.

Collect any roadkill you can find and set it on a table beside him beneath a heat lamp, with a fan set on low to blow towards him. Feed him the roadkill at a later time once it's rotted sufficiently. Allow any maggots to crawl on him.

Do your research. Collect an assortment of rats. Take the first group and find how long it takes them to starve to death. Once dead, you can use the roadkill method. Once you've discovered how long it takes, starve the rats, but don't allow them to die. Cut fresh incisions into your victims body and stuff treats inside them. Cage in the table and insert the rats. Allow them to begin eating your victim alive.

You may choose to allow your victim to live as long as you need, but be sure to make use of your medical supplies!



There's a reason I tend to play villains...

[SForce]

Simple: Have him sit down and have a 24 hour no-stop conversation with the following people (all in the same room at the same time)

1) George W. Bush
2) Dick Cheney (With a rifle)
3) Delmon Young (With Bat -- > www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCX_XlRYYDo&feature=related )
4) Phillip Wellman ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7CCga0nbG8 )
5) Ozzy Osbourne (Make him wear a mask of a bat)
6) The Youtube Numa Numa Guy (Song must be playing)
7) Cher
8) OJ Simpson (gun needed in room)
9) Richard Simmons

[Volcot]

SF u suck at torture i like MFs better but a much simpler way take rat place on his stomach place METAL bucket over rat apply heat a torch works the best once the bucket gets hot enough the rat will digg into his stomach to escape the heat