Chapter 1

[SForce]

I really enjoyed Chapter 1, i like how it was presented and how it the 'problem' was handled by Viper, Aaron and me....it was very very good, i really liked it

the way u made me leave S&D was pretty good 2

keep it up Raist!

[Raistlin]

Thanks. I've got plans for 2, but don't know how long I'll get to work on it. I hope to have it before we move to the house. I'm not sure how long it'll take before we're set up enough to have internet, or if we'll even keep it. Hope so!

[Morge]

WOW! That came out so well. It looks like you were there watching it all happen. It was fun to read and I look forward to not only the next chapter, but also to see others read it and hear what they say. I don't see any issues. Maybe one, or two typos, but that's expected. Great job and I'd think it could be a nice book by the end, but not really. LOL. I don't know who'd buy something like that.

[Tiber]

"Blast it, you ignorant newbs" - most awesome line of the whole thing. not really in character...but that’s why its so funny.

Pretty good chapter one. I know some names are kind of hard to put into a serious story, but do try to put more in. I dont know who MS was and that was the only way you referred to him I think. same kinda thing with Sforce. For most of the story you called him SF, and it just kind of makes it not as epic or story like with abbreviations like that.

Other than that minor detail, it was good. Right now all of the character introductions are kinda clogging things up, but once you start getting into some action then having a lot of the characters should make things more interesting, especially if they are reoccurring throughout the story.
Anyway, keep up the good work.

[Minion]

Yeah, this stuff is kickin ass. It would be nice to see full names, but I like it the way t is too. Start using full names instead of nicknames and I think it could be an epic.

[YungGun]

i like it. i like the way how you now the people and then when you read about them, it matches them perfectly (JC lol). keep up the good work


also, add plot twist, backstabbing, and action.

[Raistlin]

I have a great way for this to turn. I'm trying to keep it as authentic as I can. I had to keep this chapter in the category of the push on SF to leave. Now it gets more involved. All good stories have to get reved up first.

Oh, I'll go ahead and use full names.

[SForce]

Keep it up tho, the full names, yes ive noticed that 2, but doesnt take away from the good part of the story of course! believe me YG the backstabbing will come

Tiber, MS was in S&D for bout a week and maybe posted once, only reason he was in cuz i was really, RL friend of mine (best friend actually) but yea MS = Mad_Scientist

but u r doin a really good job of introducing the story and getting the background for DG members that dont no the way DG started...LOVE IT! def cant wait 4 chpt 2!

[Morge]

Cool, Raist. Looks nice and really want to see what's next. KILL VIPER!!!


JK. I don't think anyone should die, but it'd be cool, hehe.... hint hint!

[SForce]

i say we kill morge no wait ur not till way later lol but maybe ull die....jsut maybe

[GuildM]

I know! I'll kill him then Raist can reserect him. Morge will be Raist's undead minion.

So yeah............ This rocks! Holly man. This story is so cool. I can see everything happening like a TV series. I can even see SF being bummed out and just giving up on trying and stuff. Keep it rockin man.

[SForce]

u need help 4 chpt 2?? take ur time wit rl tho!!

[Morge]

Last I heard from him was a couple days ago. He has moved into him new house, but he is still moving things around the house. Once they are settled in he should be around more.